Love of My Life

I realized recently that I seem to only write about Sam. I always promised myself I'd never be the type of woman who would forget about everyone around her but her child so today, I'm going to tell you about my husband, Ryan. Some of you don't know him very well. I wish you did. Everyone that knows him, loves him. People always tell you that when you meet the 'right one', you just know. I never believed that until I met Ryan. I can't explain it, but I just knew. I knew I had never loved before, nor would I ever love again. I hate holding hands. All of my little cousins can testify to that. When I had to take them somewhere, I would hold their pinkie. I HATE holding hands. No one had ever held my hand. I didn't let them. On my first date with Ryan, we were walking down the street and I looked down. He had my hand in his. He had for a while and I never noticed. It felt natural. Almost as if he had been holding my hand always. In that moment, I just knew.

Our married life together has been hard. We've survived multiple deployments to the Middle East. We've endured the time apart, the multiple trips, the training missions and being moved around at the Navy's whim. I now live in the middle of no where, Nevada! I hate it here. I hate everything about living here. I hate the desert, I hate the weather, I hate that my skin resembles leather because of the dryness, I hate that I'm so far away from my friends and family, I hate that I haven't been able to continue in my career here, I hate that it takes almost $40 in gas round trip to go to a decent restaurant in Reno....there is so much I hate about living here - BUT it makes Ryan happy to work here. This was his dream. In the Navy, there is no bigger honor than working in Fallon. Ryan is living his dream. If someone would ask me how you know you truly love someone, I would say that one way you know is when you would live somewhere you hate just so that the person you love could be happy. In one of my favorite movies, the main character tells his wife "I'd rather live in Hell with you than in Heaven without you." No words could better explain how much I love Ryan. The world could strip me of everything I am, everything I have, everything I own...and I would still have everything I needed as long as I had him.

As if it wasn't enough that he's the love of my life, I struck gold when I chose a father for my children. He's wonderful with Sam. Some men where born to be fathers. Ryan is one of them. I noticed something yesterday. My son looks at my husband with the same love and admiration that I do when I look at him. He thinks his dad hung the moon! Why wouldn't he? I do too. When I was pregnant, I prayed for my son to look just like his Dad. Prayers must come true because I got just that. They are two peas in a pod, and I couldn't be happier about that.

So my prayer for all of my friends and family that are not married yet - wait to know love like this - even if it takes forever. I was in my late 20's when I met Ryan. I had plenty of opportunities to settle for someone I 'kinda' loved, but it's not what I wanted. I wanted to know 'this' kind of love. I believed with all of my heart that it was out there and I would find it if I was patient. I thank God every day for blessing me with Ryan and for finding the happily ever after kind of love.